You know that feeling of a thought coming back again and again, even when the scene ended long ago. A poorly chosen phrase, an imperfect decision, an encounter that left you tense. It is as though we keep carrying something on our shoulders for hours, days, sometimes years afterwards.
The parable of the two monks and the river
Two monks walk through a forest. They reach a river and meet a woman struggling to cross it. Their order's rules forbid touching a woman, but one monk recognises that help is needed. He approaches, lifts her up and carries her across. He puts her down, makes sure she is all right, then silently continues with his companion.
After a while, the other monk, visibly troubled, breaks the silence: "I cannot believe you carried that woman across the river." The first listens, then replies:.
I put that woman down miles ago. You are still carrying her.
The real burden is not the action, but the attachment
The first monk's action lasts only a few minutes. The second monk's mental burden, however, can last all day. This is where the parable becomes practical. Often, we suffer not because of what happened, but because of what our minds keep telling us about it.
A useful note: letting go does not mean pretending nothing happened. It means stopping the repeated thoughts that keep feeding something already over. You can learn and adjust your course without dragging the noise along.
Eckhart Tolle uses this story in The Power of Now to illustrate a common trap. We think we live in the present, but often inhabit a reconstruction of the past or an anticipation of the future. Meanwhile, the only place where you can act, decide and change remains the same.
Past and future: two stories the brain invents
The past is a memory trace, useful for learning but no longer real. The future is an imagined projection, useful for planning but not yet real. When we confuse them with reality, we begin to suffer twice: once for what happened and once for what we fear might happen.
Here is a simple sign that you are still carrying the woman: you notice your energy is stuck on a scene that no longer exists, while neglecting what you could do today.
- You mentally replay conversations and prepare answers you will never give.
- You cling to the idea that you must be right or explain everything.
- You notice your body is tense, but your mind keeps racing elsewhere.
Mindfulness and three exercises for returning to the present
You do not need to become a monk to practise presence. You need to bring your body to the forefront and give your mind a smaller role. Here are three practices: choose one and use it for a week.
1. Three mindful breaths
When you notice yourself ruminating, take three slow breaths. Focus on the air entering and leaving. Do not fight the thought: acknowledge it and return to your breathing.
2. Label the thought
Instead of following it, give it a name. For example, "worry", "regret" or "control". Labelling creates distance and reduces the snowball effect.
3. A reality question
Ask yourself: what is really happening right now? Answer with concrete facts, not interpretations. Often, you discover there is no real problem at this moment, just a story.
Goals and the present: the next action beats perfection
If you have a goal, the difference comes not from a momentary burst of motivation but from the quality of what you do today. The present is where intention meets result. A simple hack is therefore to turn each goal into one actionable step.
A tiny method: write down the goal, then ask what the next 10-minute action is. Not the best one, not the definitive one, just the next. Do it, then choose the following step. That is how you stop living in the future and start building it.
When your mind insists on the past, return your attention to what you can control. A phone call, a written page, a line of code, a workout, a message that clears things up. Inner peace often begins with a small but real action.
The Power of Now: why it is worth reading
Tolle's book is not a productivity manual, but it has an enormous impact on real productivity because it reduces the noise and puts you back in the driving seat. To explore further, you can find a useful resource, also in audio, at this link: mindvibes.it, The Power of Now.
The monk's words remain a powerful reminder. You can do the right thing, then let it go. You can learn, then return to now. Because everything you want to build passes through here.